A Forgiving Walk

I walk for exercise. I walk on a busy street in Ottawa, Bank Street in the Glebe, because the sidewalks are clearer in the winter there than elsewhere.

One of my frustrations is that cars coming out of the side streets often ignore me as a pedestrian and block the crosswalk that is designed for pedestrians who are making their way across the side streets. The drivers are so intent on seeing whether there is car traffic moving back and forth on Bank that they forget or ignore the pedestrian traffic.

I’m good at being righteously indignant. I also have a strong belief that Ottawa, and cities in general, should make it as easy as possible for pedestrians, cyclists and transit users to get around the city. So my fear of the cars coming at me from the cross streets is accompanied by my righteous indignation because these unthinking drivers are making it dangerous for we pedestrians. Both my fear and my indignation lead to ANGER!

A few days ago I was preparing for a coaching session with a client. One of the processes I was preparing to work on with her is the Ho’oponopono Healing process which is a forgiveness process.

Saying this mantra:

I’m Sorry
Please Forgive me
Thank you
I love you

is a way of forgiving myself for my part in the hurt to myself or bad vibes or whatever the negative situation is. That’s all and that’s a lot. In saying these four phrases we are calling in, what I think of, as a healing energy. Others might call it Spirit, The Creator, etc. It is a way of surrendering and admitting that each of us creates our own reality, in small but significant ways.

I surprise myself when I say or write these words because I’m not religious in any conventional way. I do believe that there is much we humans do not understand about the magic of the world. When I consider the immense complexity of the spruce tree growing outside my window for example, I know there is much about my world I can’t explain. I saw it grow from a seed that happened to land there. How could that seed become a tree? We don’t know the answer.

Think of how complex that is.

Just as we don’t know how our sincerely saying:

I’m Sorry
Please Forgive me
Thank you
I love you

helps me let go of hurt and pain when something negative happens to me. We don’t know how calling in the healing energy of Ho’oponopono can heal negative feelings.

Now let me finish my story about my walk. I had been literally shouting at drivers who barged onto the cross walk just as I approached a cross street.

But when I started studying the ho’oponopono process I began to question my aggressive self-righteous behaviour. So the next day on my walk I was much calmer. And only in retrospect I realize that not one car encroached on the cross walks as I approached them and several cars did come to the intersections at the same time as I did. I was not even aware of the difference in the way drivers were acting until the evening of that day when I reflected about this whole episode to my men’s group. It was only then that I realized what a difference my different behaviour/attitude seemed to make.

So, I really benefited from my changed attitude. I really benefited from living the forgiveness or trusting way of Ho’oponopono.

I know each of us can. Much love. Thank you. Please forgive me and I love you!!


How To Be Your Personal Best!!

I came across a great article in the New Yorker magazine on the value of coaching and how coaching can contribute to people getting better at what they are already good at doing.

Master surgeon Atul Gawande starts his article, Personal Best by saying:
“No matter how well trained people are, few can sustain their best performance on their own.

That’s where coaching comes in. (emphasis added).
He goes on to say:

“I’ve been a surgeon for eight years. For the past couple of them, my performance in the operating room has reached a plateau. I’d like to think it’s a good thing—I’ve arrived at my professional peak. But mainly it seems as if I’ve just stopped getting better.”

The article caught my eye because, of course, I’m a coach and one of my toughest challenges is helping people invest in themselves and a better, more satisfying life through a few coaching sessions.
Later in the article Gawande tells a story about how a tennis coach helped him improve his serve, then he goes on to realize that:

“Nearly every élite tennis player in the world…. uses a coach to make sure they are as good as they can be.
“But doctors don’t. I’d paid to have a kid just out of college look at my serve. So why did I find it inconceivable to pay someone to come into my operating room and coach me on my surgical technique?”

It’s a good question and in fact Gawande does hire a coach who provides guidance that allows him to continue improving the quality of his already very high quality surgical practice.

The point is that we all can do better with the help of a coach. The article speaks about teachers, musicians, opera singers, golfers, sports teams and executives using coaches to improve their performance and ultimately their satisfaction with their lives.

I offer coaching in career and relationship issues. What I find is that most issues that people come to see me about cross over into both their career and their relationships. So, I have specialized in helping people identify what they want to achieve in terms of both their career and the relationships they develop in their lives.

I start by helping people get in touch with what goals they really want to achieve.  Surprisingly, perhaps, this can take some effort on their part. Once their goals are established, I support them in creating their action plans to achieve their goals. That leads to my providing support as they implement their plans. Often the clients revise their plans with my support as they move forward. Ultimately, they succeed in creating more vibrant and satisfying careers and relationships and that leads to much happier lives.

(The reason people call me the Happiness Coach is because they are happier after working with me on making their lives better.)

Steps in the Coaching Process:
Coach supports client with:

Goals –> Plans  –>Implementation lead to–> A More Successful & Satisfying Life!

So, I invite you to invest in yourself by using a coach. To make it easier for you I’ll offer the first session at no charge.
Please give me a call so we can set up an appointment!

Bruce Rosove (613) 233 8013   Bruce.Rosove@Rogers.com

Career and Relationships Coach
(The Happiness Coach! )

P.S. If you’d like to read the full article by Atul Gawande, please drop me a line and I’ll send it to you.